


Iris (Part Two)

by JimmyMcGill



Series: Iris [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abuse, F/M, Rape/Non-con Elements, Spanking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-17 13:14:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28974933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JimmyMcGill/pseuds/JimmyMcGill
Summary: Part Two of Iris. (Make sure you read Part One first or this won't make any sense!) Dean and Lisa are married and in a domestic discipline relationship. When Dean comes home from a hunt, Lisa starts acting really differently.
Relationships: Lisa Braeden/Dean Winchester
Series: Iris [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2125311
Comments: 3
Kudos: 8





	1. Off

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Gannicus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gannicus/gifts).



> Please read part one first! You'll be confused without it. The only reason this is a separate story is because of the tags on this one. I didn't want them to give the wrong idea about part one. But this is a continuation of part one. Note the non-con and abuse tags. This isn't at all a comment on domestic discipline (obviously). Bear with me.
> 
> Part One: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28974660

Chapter One  
…..  
When Dean came home from a hunt on Wednesday, Lisa was standing in front of the door, waiting for him. She had a blank expression on her face that he didn’t understand, but then she smiled at him. He smiled back, and hugged her tight. He had missed her so much.  
Lisa kissed him, softly at first, but with increasing passion. Appreciatively, he kissed her back.  
“I love you, honey,” Dean said, but he could barely get the words out with how much Lisa was kissing him. 

She didn’t respond. That was a little weird, but Dean had to admit this new desperation for him was a hell of a turn on.  
He sure didn’t complain when she tore off his pants and shirt, pushing him onto the cold tire floor and climbing on top of him. 

…..  
Dean was sitting on the couch eating corn dogs when Lisa came down the stairs. “Let’s have sex,” she said, sounding giddy. “Come on.”  
Dean laughed. “Lis, we just had sex! Twice! I need to keep my strength up.” He didn’t know what was going on with her, but damn, she really was insatiable these days. They’d been having sex five times a day for three days. He was exhausted.  
“Are you refusing an order?” Suddenly, she was deadly serious. His heart pounded. Was that an order? He supposed it was.  
“Uh, no Ma’am,” he said cautiously, setting his plate on the coffee table. He wasn’t really in the mood, but he supposed he could get there. She did look beautiful. She was wearing her emerald green lingerie, his favorite, and her hair fell in soft dark curls over her shoulders.  
“I’m coming.” He jogged up the stairs to meet her. When he got to the top of the stairs, she shoved him roughly against the wall. Ohh. Maybe he could do this again.  
Lisa had been more turned on than usual lately, but today she was downright aggressive. She pressed against him, pushing him into the wall, and she pushed her forearm against his throat. She kissed him hard, pushing her tongue deep into his mouth. Dean moaned. He didn’t know where she got the drive for all this aggression after having sex twice today already, but he wasn’t complaining. She grinded her hips against his cock while she made out with him, pulling her tongue out to bite his lip, then pushing it back in.  
Dean shivered as Lisa ran her hand up the back of his head. She grabbed a handful of his hair and pulled it, just hard enough to hurt as she pulled his head back. She bit his exposed neck hard. Fuck. She was hot. He lifted her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist, nibbling and kissing his neck as he carried her to the bedroom. He laid her on the bed, pulling his shirt off and throwing it on the floor. He yanked his belt off and tore his pants off.  
As good as she looked in that lingerie, it was time for it to come off. Dean unhooked the bra and pulled it off while he kissed her.  
Three times in one day still seemed like a lot compared to the past years of their relationship, but somehow Dean was keeping up.  
… ..

Dean was mopping the kitchen floor when the doorbell rang. He glanced at Lisa, who was sitting on the couch eating a cheese stick. She didn’t even look at the door. Dean trudged to the door himself, a bit resentful.  
Since he had come home from his hunt a week ago, she hadn’t done anything to help around the house. Usually they split up chores 50/50. It didn’t always have to be even, and he was happy to do whatever she asked. He often did more than his half without complaint. But he couldn’t help but feel like 100/0 wasn’t really fair.  
She was happy to eat way more than usual, but she didn’t even address where the food was coming from, which was strange because she normally always did the shopping and cooked dinner and he did the dishes. After two days of her irritatedly asking him where dinner was, he had determined that that was supposed to be his job now too. She hadn’t even ever asked him to do it, she just got mad that it wasn’t done.  
“Hey Dean,” Sammy greeted him when he opened the door. Dean knew he must look pretty bad, because Sam was taken aback when he saw him.  
Dean wasn’t in the mood to explain himself. He looked tired because all he did was clean and cook and have sex five times a day with his wife who wouldn’t talk to him otherwise. “Hi Sam. What is it?” He knew he sounded unfriendly. He didn’t really care.  
Sam struggled for a minute to give an explanation, startled by Dean’s behavior, or the way he looked, or both. “Uh, you haven’t answered any of my texts or calls all week. I have a job for us,” Sam explained.  
“Can’t,” Dean said. He started to close the door.  
Sam stopped the door with his hand. “Come on, Dean. This is a good one. Three women dead, they all went to the same house before they died. But there haven’t been any deaths there before that.”  
Dean looked at Lisa, who was watching them from the couch. He hoped she would let him go. He felt like he really needed a break. She shook her head disapprovingly. Dean wilted.  
“I can’t Sammy, I’m sorry. We have so much going on around here. I’ll call you later.” This time, Sam let Dean close the door. Dean felt guilty for the wounded expression he had left on Sam’s face. But he just went back to mopping the floor.  
Dean didn’t know what to do. Lisa wasn’t herself these days. Other than having sex with him and giving random orders, Lisa didn’t interact with him at all. He was desperate for her affection. Any time he tried to cuddle with her like they normally did, lying in her lap hoping that she would pet his hair, or kiss him, or do anything to show him that she still loved him, she would either initiate sex again or push him off.  
Desperately, he tried again. “Lis, honey, what’s wrong?” He sat next to her on the couch, putting his head on her shoulder. She normally loved that. He wrapped his arms around her.  
“Stop, Dean. Dammit, you really are a pain in the ass,” she snapped, shoving his arms off her. Dean felt like she had punched him in the stomach. What had he done wrong? Should he have said “ma’am” instead of Lisa? Obviously she didn’t want affection right now. He knew she wasn’t gonna be into it, why did he even try? He was so needy. Was this why she didn’t love him anymore?  
Embarrassed and hurt, Dean backed off. He decided to start making dinner, because that’s what she would want him to do. She would eat a lot, and maybe if he made something she liked then she would be happy with him again. He pushed down the voice in his head telling him that that hadn’t worked for the last seven days, why would it work now? That voice was a dick. Something had to work.  
Dean took out some spaghetti from the pantry and started boiling water. He watched Lisa cautiously. He wanted to know what she was doing, but he was afraid to make her mad by staring. She didn’t notice him. She was done eating her cheese stick, and was just sitting there, staring at the TV. Dean wanted desperately to know what was going on with her, but he wouldn’t risk asking again. He was only pushing her further away with his irritating questions. He just wished he knew how to help her.  
When dinner was ready, he hesitated before letting her know. He was afraid to speak to her. But he had food, and she still wanted that. “Hey, Lis,” Dean said, trying to be casual. “Dinner’s r-ready.” His voice broke. He was stressed out and lonely and confused, and he was having a hard time controlling it.  
It didn’t matter. She didn’t acknowledge his emotions at all. She just came and got herself a bowl of spaghetti and started eating quickly. By the time he had sat down with his own, she was already getting up to get a second bowl. At least she was still eating, if nothing else.  
They ate together, but they might as well have been on other sides of the country. She didn’t acknowledge him at all, except to take the glass of water he handed to her and drink the whole thing.  
Dean could only finish half his bowl. He wasn’t hungry. He hadn’t been eating much lately. He was too depressed. That worked out fine for Lisa, who finished the rest of his food.  
“You liked it, huh?” he said weakly, still trying to connect with her. But Lisa didn’t respond. She left him, walking up the stairs without a word.  
Dean sat at the table alone, staring at the empty dishes in front of him. He got up and poured himself a glass of whiskey. He normally didn’t drink much at home, unless they were celebrating something. Lisa would never let him have a drink when he was upset. Her father had been an alcoholic, and she thought it was a dangerous precedent to set to turn to alcohol to feel better. Tonight, Dean didn’t care. He wasn’t sure how else to get through this night. And maybe if she got mad enough to spank him, they’d actually connect again. He would feel like she cared enough about him to correct him. Then maybe she’d cuddle him after, like she always did after a spanking. He really missed that.  
He knew it wouldn’t work. In order to spank him, she’d have to actually care what he was doing, and she didn’t. Not anymore. He could go in there completely plastered and she probably wouldn’t even notice, as long as he could still get it up.  
Dean felt like a slave. Lisa saw him as nothing more than what he could do for her. At least, that’s how she acted. He wanted to believe that the love she’d always had for him was still there somewhere, but it was hard to believe now.  
He used to fantasize about being her sex slave. At the time, they had turned the fantasy into a role play, and she was a demanding and harsh slave owner, as requested. But even then, she couldn’t resist kissing the top of his head and praising him every once in a while for being such a good slave. At the time, he had felt a little frustrated by it. He had wanted to be objectified for real.  
Well, be careful what you wish for, dumbass. He missed the old Lisa so much. He would kill for a little praise, or a kiss that wasn’t part of quick, aggressive sex. He had never known how lonely it was to be a slave for real.  
Dean drank and waited. Lisa would probably come down wanting to have sex soon. And then at least she would touch him. It would be a hungry, purely physical touch, utterly devoid of love, but it would be touching nonetheless. And he would take what he could get. When it was over and she was finished with him, she would leave him again, taking a shower by herself and walking out of the bedroom without a second glance at her husband. And he would come down here and drink some more, and she wouldn’t care. She probably wouldn’t even notice.


	2. Trying

Chapter Two  
….   
Sam hadn’t heard from Dean in days. Not since Dean had dismissed him at the door, not even allowing him to come in. Whatever was going on, Sam could tell it had something to do with Lisa. When he had asked Dean to work the job with him, Dean had looked to Lisa for permission, and Sam had seen Dean’s face fall right before Dean rejected him.   
What was going on? Dean had seemed so happy with his arrangement with Lisa when they talked about it before. Despite the marks on his ass, he had genuinely seemed to be at peace with Lisa. Clearly, that had changed. Now Lisa wasn’t even letting him do his job. Maybe she wasn’t even letting Dean talk to anyone. Or maybe Dean was shutting him out by choice, not wanting to admit to Sam that there was a problem. Sam didn’t know what to do.   
After agonizing over it for an hour, Sam finally decided that he needed to call Bobby. Bobby might have some insight that he hadn’t considered, and he didn’t feel like he could deal with this alone anymore.   
Bobby answered on the second ring. “Hi, Sam. What can I do for you?”  
“Bobby I’m really worried about Dean. He hasn’t talked to me in a week, he won’t call me back. He turned down a job when I came in person to get him. He looked terrible. Tired, depressed. I thought he might go with me, but he looked at Lisa and then he said he couldn’t go,” Sam explained, the explanation rushing out of him like air out of a balloon.   
“Sam, I told you there was something up with him and Lisa at Thanksgiving,” Bobby started, but Sam interrupted him.   
“I know Bobby, but it isn’t that. I talked to Dean about that,” he hesitated, knowing Dean would be pissed at him for revealing the information. But Bobby needed to know that this was different. He needed to know the whole story if he was gonna help. “They have a domestic discipline relationship, and”  
It was Bobby’s turn to interrupt. “A what now?” He demanded.   
“A domestic discipline relationship. Something he asked for himself. She makes the rules, the decisions, and if he breaks the rules he gets punished.”   
“Alright. Stop right there. Punished?” Bobby asked, incredulous.   
“Yeah, spanking. But that’s not actually the point. Because when Dean told me about all that, he was happy. Things were going well with it, apparently. But now things are not going well, and I don’t know why. I don’t know if maybe they’ve gone too far with it or what.”   
“That already sounds like a bucket of crazy. Dean wanted that?”  
Sam was exasperated. That wasn’t the point! “Yes, Bobby. And he was happy. He liked having her in control and it seemed like she was doing a good job making it work for them. But now something is really different. When he told me about their arrangement, he told me that she told him not to be reckless on the job. But she never told him not to do the job. She’s always understood. Now he’s turning me down because of her? It’s not normal, Bobby. And he looked so sad when she said no. But he didn’t argue. I’m worried that because of the arrangement, he’s listening to her without fighting back on it, and I don’t know how to get him to assert himself. He won’t talk to me.”   
Bobby paused, and Sam knew he had given Bobby a lot to think about. “Okay, I don’t know anything about this domestic discipline crap. But what do we normally do when someone goes off the reservation? Have we checked that she’s not a demon, or a changeling?”  
Of course. It hadn’t even occurred to Sam. Maybe she wasn’t acting like Lisa because she wasn’t Lisa. “Great. Thank you Bobby. I hadn’t even thought of that. I’ll call Dean.” Sam was invigorated with the hope of a response that might actually help. 

...  
Dean’s vibrating phone interrupted his lonely thoughts. “Hi Sammy,” he answered. His voice was flat.   
“Dean. Talk to me. What the hell is going on with you?” Sam’s voice was full of concern. It felt nice to be cared about, Dean noticed sadly. Maybe his wife didn’t love him anymore, but his brother did.   
“Nothing Sammy. It’s fine,” he lied. He knew it was a waste of breath. He couldn’t hide this from Sam. He was heartbroken. His marriage was falling apart in the span of one week, and he had no idea what to do.   
“Things are really bad with Lisa, huh?” Sam offered.  
For a moment, Dean was surprised that Sammy knew exactly what was wrong. But he remembered that Sam had seen him look at Lisa before pushing him out the door, and Sam knew that that wasn’t like either Lisa or Dean. “Yeah, man, I don’t know what’s going on. She doesn’t like me anymore. She won’t talk to me, or show any affection. It’s like I’m a stranger, except when she wants to have sex, five times a day, always five times a day, or when she wants me to cook. She eats so much. Way more than normal. I’m exhausted.   
“I don’t wanna go all chick flick on you. My wife wants to have sex all the time and I’m complaining? But I don’t know, man. It doesn’t feel the same. At first it was fun, but it feels like she’s kind of just using me. She’s not herself.”  
Sam was quiet for a minute, and Dean didn’t know if he had explained it all very well. He started to feel embarrassed, like maybe this actually was his fault, or he was being a baby, and he shouldn’t have brought it up to Sam at all. Sam responded, “Yeah, that is really weird. Listen. She’s acting weird as hell right? Totally not herself?”  
“Yeah, exactly,” Dean affirmed.  
“So what would you do if I was acting really weird? Like a totally different person?”  
It dawned on Dean what Sammy was getting at. Of course. “I would hit you with some holy water.” He felt hope for the first time all week. Maybe this wasn’t Lisa after all, and he hadn’t ruined everything somehow. But the relief didn’t last long. Because if this wasn’t Lisa, that meant the real Lisa was somewhere else, or a prisoner in her own demon-possessed body, or dead. Dean’s blood ran cold. “Alright, thanks Sammy. I’ll let you know.”   
When Dean hung up, Lisa was still upstairs somewhere. He snuck into the garage, where he had a stash of quick monster checking items. He slid a flask of holy water, a silver knife, and a small iron cross into his pocket. If she was a monster, one of these would let him know.   
Dean just had to figure out how to do it without her noticing. The holy water would be easy enough. He made all her food. All he had to do was pour some in her water, and she wouldn’t know. He wasn’t sure how to touch her with the iron or silver without her noticing. If she did notice, he was afraid of how she’d react. If she was a monster, he hoped that he could manage to find out without her attacking. It was unlikely, but he didn’t want to hurt Lisa if it was still her body. And if it actually was Lisa, not a monster, he didn’t think she’d appreciate the implication. At all.   
Dean finished cooking dinner and called to Lisa. He had put holy water in her glass of water, and he left the silver knife by her plate, setting the rest of the table with similar-looking silverware so she wouldn’t notice. He had made steak, so she’d have to use the knife.   
Lisa came to the table and started eating. As usual, she didn’t address him. He should’ve been used to it, but it still hurt. He found a small part of himself hoping she was a monster, despite all the bad that that would mean. If none of this worked, and it really was Lisa, he didn’t know what he would do. Lisa took a drink of the water and continued to eat the potatoes, unfazed. Okay, no demon. Dean was disappointed. That probably would’ve been the easiest problem to solve. She hadn’t touched the knife yet. Oh wait. She grabbed the knife and started cutting her steak. It didn’t affect her at all.   
Alright, iron was the last chance. He was afraid to try it, because if it didn’t work, then this was just Lisa. If it was a monster, he’d have a big problem. But he knew how to hunt. He didn’t know how to deal with his wife actually not loving him anymore. He wasn’t sure he could take it.   
Dean knew it was time to man up and do it. He couldn’t afford to wait any longer. If this monster had taken Lisa’s place, she could be in some dark cave somewhere chained to a wall. Dean shuddered, not even allowing himself to consider again what it might mean if the monster hadn’t left her in some dark cave. He held the small iron cross in his hand inside his pocket. When he passed Lisa, he pulled his hand out of his pocket, holding the cross against his palm. He put his hand against her arm, pretending to be affectionate. His heart pounded.   
Nothing happened. She didn’t even react to the cold metal.   
He knew what this meant. She wasn’t a monster. It was just Lisa. Dean felt a disgusting mix of relief and crushing, overwhelming disappointment. At least she was safe. But was this his life now? He sat back down in front of his plate, trying unsuccessfully to eat something.   
Dean pushed his plate at Lisa without looking at her. She started eating it immediately, with no regard for the fact that he hadn’t eaten at all. Every time she ignored him, he struggled with what a contrast it was from how she had been before. Before she had changed into whatever she was now, she would have been concerned for him if he didn’t eat. Now she didn’t even notice. But he had to remind himself that she hadn’t changed into something at all. This was just Lisa.   
Lisa left her empty plate and went back up to the bedroom. He didn’t even know what she did in there when she was alone. Every time he was in there, they were having sex, or he was going to bed. He didn’t go to bed til around 4am every morning, usually drunk. She would already be asleep, so he could curl up next to her the way he used to when she still loved him and let himself pretend that she still did. It was the closest he came to happiness these days.


	3. Still Trying

Chapter Three

While Lisa was upstairs, Dean called Sam. He answered almost immediately.   
“Dean! Did you try it? Is it her?” Sam said animatedly.   
“I tried it Sam. I tried it all. Holy water, silver, iron. It’s her. She’s not a monster. She’s just... her.” He didn’t know what else to say.   
For a minute, neither did Sammy. Then Sam said, “You know what, Dean? Good. That means she’s safe, you know exactly where she is, no monsters are after you guys. This is just a person problem, not a hunter problem. You just have to talk to her. Sit her down and ask what the hell is going on, you know? You’re just gonna have to stand up to her, Dean.”   
Dean nodded.“Yeah. You’re right, Sammy. Thanks man.” He hung up the phone, and turned around to see Lisa standing right behind him.   
“I don’t want you talking to him anymore,” Lisa said. “Come on, I want to have sex.” She started to turn away.  
“Okay, whoa. You haven’t even talked to me for a week and you’re gonna tell me I can’t even talk to my own brother? That’s not you, Lis.”  
She wheeled around to face him. “That’s exactly what I’m telling you. Come on, Dean.” She started to grab his arm, but he pulled away.  
“I don’t want to have sex again. I’m not in the mood. I’m not some object, you know.” He felt invigorated by his conversation with Sam. He didn’t have to take this. If this was really Lisa, then he’d have to solve this the regular person way, not the hunter way. This was his Lisa. She should be able to at least talk to him if he confronted her.   
“Shut up, Dean. Get upstairs,” she commanded. The venom in her voice hurt, but he wasn’t ready to give up.   
“What are you gonna do if I don’t, Lis? Spank me? Please do. I want you to!” he shouted, and he meant it. He was desperate for the old Lisa to come back. The old Lisa who wouldn’t let him get away with this attitude, because she actually cared how he behaved. Not because she wanted something from him, but because she expected him to treat her with respect, and that meant no yelling at her. What he wouldn’t give to get that lecture over her knee right now.   
New Lisa didn’t respond the way Dean hoped. She slapped him hard across the face. Dean could only stare, his mouth hanging open. His face stung. Lisa had never done that to him before. Her punishments were controlled. Even when she did give him a few impromptu smacks on the ass, she did it because she loved him, and it was a warning to change his attitude before he earned a worse punishment. This was different. This was done with zero regard for his feelings, except to the extent that his feelings got in her way.   
Dean gritted his teeth. “Okay,” he said, walking up the stairs. If all she wanted from him was that he be a sex slave, then he’d be a sex slave. She followed him up the stairs, unfazed by his anger. As long as she could fuck him, what did she care, right? he thought bitterly.   
When Dean got to the bedroom, he unceremoniously took his clothes off and laid on his back in bed like some kind of depressed sacrifice. Dean turned his head away from Lisa to look at the wall. He heard Lisa drop her clothes on the floor and walk towards him.   
She jerked his cock off impatiently, trying to make him hard. He hoped that it wouldn’t work. Then maybe she’d just leave him alone. He felt betrayed when it did work. He guessed that he was so desperate for attention from her that he would take anything, even this. Wow, he really was pathetic.   
Lisa climbed on top of him, straddling him. She kissed and bit his neck, then forcefully moved his chin so he was looking at her. She kissed him, pushing her tongue in his mouth. He was disgusted by the way that even now, he liked it. In his head, he was angry and humiliated and depressed. But his body was into it.   
She lowered herself onto his cock, and he groaned. Then she started to kiss him again, biting his lip and pushing her tongue back into his mouth. His body was desperate for her attention, and it wasn’t long until he started to kiss her back. It wasn’t love by a long shot, but it was as close as he was gonna get. Maybe forever. He pushed the thought out of his mind and tried to enjoy it. He tried to pretend that they were madly in love like they used to be, and that she was being aggressive with loving passion and not this empty, ravenous hunger.   
It wasn’t long before she came, crying out loudly, her mouth right next to his ear. The sound was very much like his old Lisa, and it made it easier to pretend. He was close to cumming too.   
He didn’t get a chance. As soon as she finished, she climbed off of him. His cock throbbed pathetically, abandoned. It seemed that he had lost the privilege even of her letting him finish before she left him like she left her empty dinner plates on the kitchen table every night. He ached with need and hurt.   
Lisa closed the bathroom door and started the shower. He waited for her to come back, but he didn’t know why. It wasn’t like she was gonna pay attention to him. She had gotten what she wanted.   
He watched the door until he heard the water turn off. She came out in jeans and a t-shirt, her hair in a towel. As usual, she didn’t acknowledge him at all. When she turned around, he tried to smile at her, hoping foolishly that he’d get a smile back, but she didn’t even look. When she was gone, he cried.   
….  
Nothing changed for the next week. Every day, Dean woke up to Lisa taking his clothes off. Every day, he submitted to sex that he didn’t want. He tried to convince himself that he was allowing it because he did actually wake up horny in the morning, so it was good timing. But the truth was that he didn’t want to admit he didn’t have a choice. It was all she ever wanted from him. If he said no, she might leave.   
When she was done, whether Dean managed to finish in time or not (usually not), she left the room without a second glance. He would get up and go downstairs, where she would be waiting for breakfast. So he made it. He would eat as much as he could over the constant ache in his stomach, which meant he didn’t eat much, and Lisa would finish what he didn’t eat. When she finished both of their food she was gone again. He did the dishes, drank some whiskey, and waited to be summoned to have sex again.   
It was an emotionally exhausting routine. They had sex a second, third, fourth time in the afternoon. He cleaned the house between those times. He watched a lot of TV, retaining none of it. He was afraid to leave the house in case she wasn’t there when he returned. Damn, was he pathetic.   
Sammy called him every day. He sent it to voicemail every time. What was the point? There was nothing Sam could do. Sam couldn’t make Lisa love him again. Sam couldn’t make Lisa look him in the eyes, or touch him with any trace of affection, or consider whether he actually wanted to have sex before she forced it on him again. There was nothing Sam could do, because there was nothing anybody could do.   
Every day after they had sex the second time, or the third time, or whatever time Dean was lonely and desperate enough to try again, he would beg Lisa to please tell him what happened to them.   
Today, it was after the second time. She was dressed and was about to leave the room when he stopped her. He hadn’t even bothered to get dressed. Who was left to care? “Lis, please. Wait.”  
She waited, watching him with a blank expression that he didn’t recognize. She didn’t really look like herself. There was something different about her face, something about her features.   
“Please Lis. Please tell me what happened to you. Was it something I did wrong? Please, I’ll do anything to make it better.” He dropped to his knees. Today he was desperate enough to beg for real, kneeling on the ground in front of her. He put his hands gently on her hips, hoping it would keep her from walking away. “Please. Did something happen to you? We can fix it. Let me help you. Please, Lisa. Ma’am? Please. Don’t shut me out anymore. I miss you so much. Please.”   
Dean was gonna cry if he didn’t shut up. He had been doing too much of that lately, but he didn’t want to do it in front of her. Lisa gave him a strange look, and his heart soared with the hope that today he might get a different reaction. Maybe today she would answer. Every other miserable time he had tried, she had responded in some vague and hurtful way. “Stop it, Dean,” she’d say, or “Get out of my way.” and he would stand there frozen, his heart breaking all over again. But today he thought it might be different. Her face looked different.   
She laughed, and Dean was so thrown off that he thought he might be going crazy. Why was she laughing? It was the first time she had laughed since this whole thing started. “Dean, can’t you see? I have everything I need here. I think I’ll stay.” She smiled, and left him kneeling on the floor, naked.   
Dean didn’t fully understand what she had just said, but he felt like he was being filled up with a warm, bright light. She had laughed! More importantly, she said she would stay. She would stay. He sat on the floor, overwhelmed. Something was wrong with her, of course. This didn’t change that. But it did change him. His love wasn’t leaving. As miserable as he had been, the worst feeling was fearing that one of these times, she would finally get tired of this mindless routine, the half assed sex, the pathetic begging for love and answers, and leave him forever. But she had just said she wouldn’t do that.   
Finally, Dean got up off the floor. He got dressed and went downstairs to make food for her, teriyaki chicken and rice. For the first time in two weeks, he felt happy to be doing it. For the first time in two weeks, he felt happy, period.   
For the next couple hours, Dean was the picture of obedience and servitude. Food was ready before Lisa had time to realize she wanted it. He cut up cheese sticks and turkey into little chunks and put them on a tray with crackers and grapes and cookies, and brought them to Lisa, who was watching TV. She didn’t smile at him or really acknowledge him at all, but she took it, and he thought she looked pleased with the offering.   
When she was done eating, he decided to initiate sex. He thought she might like the change of pace from having to practically drag his ass up the stairs. He tore off all his clothes in the middle of the living room and smiled at her, and she accepted this offering as well. They had sex on the couch, a significant break in their routine, and he tried his hardest not to feel hurt when she still left him aching with need after she had finished.   
Dean got off the couch and pushed his feelings of rejection as far out of his mind as he could, until they were just a dull pang in his chest. He could handle it. They had sex five times a day. One of those times he would cum, or the next day, and if not then, then at least once a week he thought. It didn’t need to be every time. And just because she didn’t care if he did or not didn’t mean that she didn’t love him.   
She said she would stay. She wouldn’t have said that if she didn’t still love him. He hoped if he told himself that lie every day that it would start to sink in.   
Dean was feeling better than he had in awhile, although not as good as this morning, and he thought about calling Sammy. Sam was probably worried about him. But then he remembered that Lisa had told him not to talk to Sam. She seemed unusually pleased with him today and he didn’t wanna blow it. So when Sam called him, he rejected the call.   
For dinner, Dean made Lisa’s favorite. Enchiladas. He had never made them before, but she had a recipe in the wooden recipe box she had gotten from her mother after they got married, and he was sure he could figure it out.   
The enchiladas turned out decent. He was getting a lot of practice cooking these days, and he was starting to become pretty good at it. Lisa didn’t seem to notice that he had made her favorite, but she did eat them all, minus one that Dean was actually able to finish.   
He was feeling bold, so when she was eating her last enchilada, he decided to try to connect with her again. “I love you,” he said. He didn’t breathe as he waited for her response. He wasn’t sure that he would even get one, so he watched her face carefully. He didn’t recognize her expression, but she didn’t seem to like what he had said.   
“Dean, can you try not to be so needy?”  
He felt like she had injected poison into his heart, and it was spreading slowly through his veins. “Yeah. No problem,” he choked. He looked down at his plate, unable to look at her face. Dean tried not to look like his heart was being carved out with a serrated knife, because that was exactly how a needy person would feel.   
Without looking up from the table, Dean could tell that Lisa had left, and that she was heading up the stairs to the bedroom. He grabbed the bottle of whiskey, filling a glass. He looked forward to bedtime, when he could be close to her without upsetting her and pretend that nothing was wrong.   
That night, Dean had no such luck. He was in bed next to Lisa, and she was asleep, but he had no chance in hell of pretending that things were normal.   
He kept reliving that moment at dinner. She had been cruel and dismissive to him since all of this started, but it had been awhile since she had said something so hurtful. It scared him, because today, he had been trying his hardest to make her happy. And he had failed.   
Why did he have to push it? She was as happy today as she had been with him this whole time, and he couldn’t just enjoy it. He had to push her until she was unhappy with him again.   
How long could he keep annoying her, being clingy and needy and pathetic, before she decided that she had had enough? What if she looked to someone else to meet her needs, someone who didn’t demand so much in return?  
Dean felt sick. He lay awake all night, watching the sun come up. He wanted to cling to her promise, that she had everything she wanted here and would stay, but he couldn’t kick the thought that she could find somebody else who would make her happier than he did. Somebody who knew when to shut the fuck up and leave well enough alone. He wished more than anything that he was that person. No, what he really wished was that she was the person she used to be, back when he was enough.


	4. Oh

Chapter Four

The next morning, Dean woke up to the usual routine of Lisa pulling off his pajama pants. Today, he would try again to please her, but he wouldn’t be so needy about it. He wanted to earn her approval back. So, he was engaged in sex, but not so much that she would know he was trying to pretend that she was doing it out of love. He was sure he came across more dutiful than enthusiastic, and he hoped that that was okay. Truthfully, he didn’t know what she wanted. He wouldn’t let himself think that it didn’t matter either way.   
When they were finished (well, when she was finished), they both went downstairs. He made waffles, and he managed to finish a half of one. Lisa ate six and a half, and drank two glasses of orange juice. Dean thought about asking her if she liked the orange juice he had bought or if she wanted something else instead, but he didn’t want to bother her. She drank it, so it must be okay. He thought looking for extra approval might be needy.  
Despite his best efforts not to be needy, Dean found himself always being as close to Lisa as he thought he could get away with for the rest of the day. When she sat on the couch, he did too, but he kept a respectable distance between them. Even when she went to the bedroom, he followed her, and found that what she continued to do alone in the bedroom every day was nap. So he walked around their bedroom pretending to look for something until she was asleep, then he laid on the bed next to her. Pathetic as always. But then he was afraid she might wake up and be annoyed with him, so he sat in the chair that she sometimes used to sit in when she spanked him and watched her from a distance instead.   
He acted this way for the rest of the day, staying close to Lisa, trying not to be annoying, but also trying to anticipate her needs. She accepted the snacks and the sex that he offered to her. She seemed content. He let himself feel accepted by her, if only as a means to an end.   
Damn, he was really pathetic. Lisa had made it clear that she didn’t care about him at all. Why was he chasing her around like a puppy? He ridiculed himself for it every time she rejected him, but the self loathing was never enough to make him stop. 

Sam kept calling. Dean kept sending it to voicemail. Then it occurred to him that maybe Sam kept calling because he had an emergency. Maybe he should at least hear him out, some time when Lisa wasn’t around anyway.   
After dinner, Dean let Lisa go upstairs without following her. Despite his pathetic puppy routine earlier, she didn’t seem to notice his absence. His heart ached again, another slash of the knife to keep the wound open. But he needed her gone anyway. Just to be safe, Dean took his phone out to the Impala to call Sam. He sat in the driver’s seat, his legs hanging out the open door, and dialed.   
“Dean?” Sam sounded shocked by the call. It made Dean feel a little guilty. He hadn’t been a very good brother lately, huh?   
“Yeah, heya Sammy,” Dean answered. “Are you okay? You’ve been calling a lot.”  
“Yeah Dean, I’ve been trying to check in with you! Are you okay?” Sam sounded really stressed out.   
“Yeah, man, I’m fine.”  
“Things haven’t gotten any better, have they?” Sam asked apprehensively.   
“Not even a little bit,” Dean answered honestly. “But really, Sammy, I’m fine. Lisa is safe, she’s home, I can deal with the weirdness. It’s not important.”   
“No, Dean, that’s what I keep calling about. I don’t think that is Lisa.”  
“We already checked, remember? I did all the tests. I don’t like it either, but this is Lisa.” Dean wished more than anything that he could believe it, that this wasn’t the real Lisa, but it was. He just had to live like this. There was nothing else to do.   
“No, man. There’s something different. A different kind of monster. Bobby found it. It doesn’t react to our usual tests.”   
Dean’s heart pounded. Was it possible? This wasn’t Lisa? She didn’t hate him? But then… where was the real Lisa? It had been two weeks! “Well, damn, Sammy, you don’t think you could’ve told me about that a week ago?”  
“I called you 100 times!” Sam shouted, indignant.  
“You couldn’t have sent me a text?”   
“I didn’t want it to see, Dean! What would happen if it found out you knew about it? It wouldn’t be happy, I can tell you that.”   
Dean’s blood ran cold when a shadow suddenly loomed over him. He looked up to see Lisa- or, Not Lisa? Standing in front of him, holding a frying pan. There was no chance she hadn’t heard him.   
Dean flashed Not Lisa a guilty smile and shrugged. He was just kicking his foot out to take her down when he was hit hard in the head.


	5. Not Lisa

Chapter Five

Dean woke up sitting on a cold cement floor. His head was resting on a cold cinderblock wall, and it was throbbing like he had the mother of all hangovers. When he tried to rub his eyes, he found that he couldn’t move his arms. Panicking, he started trying to yank his arms forward, but no luck. They were shackled behind his back. The shackles on his wrists were attached to a chain, which was bolted to something on the floor. He had about a foot of chain to work with. Enough to kneel, but not to stand.   
It took Dean a minute to process what the hell was going on. He was in a cage in some kind of dark room. About 50 feet away, wooden stairs led up to a door. The only light in the room was coming from under that door. It must be some kind of basement. That thing, Not Lisa, must have chained him up down here. Dammit! Now how was he gonna save real Lisa? He yelled in frustration.  
“Dean?” The voice was quiet and hoarse, but he would know it anywhere.  
“Lisa? Lisa!” He looked around frantically for the source of the voice, but his eyes were still adjusting. He looked to his right, through the bars of the cage, and saw a woman’s hand poking through the small gap in the bars. He yanked on the chain, but couldn’t get more than a foot closer to her. He knelt on the ground, straining against the chain. Lisa was here, had been here the whole time, imprisoned. He had left her here this whole time, all alone with the monster. He felt like was gonna puke.   
“Dean. Thank God you're alright,” Lisa said. It sounded like she was crying. His heart broke.   
“Lis. I’m so, so sorry. I didn’t know. The monster looked just like you. I thought it was you.” He had failed her. He was disgusted with himself. While he was at home feeding and … he didn’t want to think about it.. with that monster, Lisa was stuck in a cage thinking he was never coming to save her.   
“I know, baby. It’s okay. The monster, she, she told me. She told me I was here so that she could,” Lisa paused, clearing her throat. When she spoke again, her voice was just as raspy. “So she could feed on you. I didn’t know if you’d live through it.” Now she really started crying. Dean yanked on the chain again, desperate to comfort her.   
“Oh Lisa. Honey. I left you to wait here for two weeks while I lived with that, that thing. I’m so sorry. I can’t- I can’t even tell you how sorry I am.” Dean felt like he might start crying too. “I checked to see if it was you, but this thing doesn’t respond to the usual tests.” It was a pitiful excuse. He should have tried harder. He was so ashamed.   
“It’s okay Dean. Really. I knew you would check. But when you didn’t come find me, I - I started to think maybe you were dead. But the monster kept feeding me, and I didn’t know why she would do that unless you were still there, thinking it was me.” Dean didn’t understand why the monster had kept Lisa alive anyway, but he didn’t want to bring that up now. He didn’t want to put it in her head.   
“I’m so sorry Lis. I’m so sorry.”   
Dean jumped when he heard the doorknob turn at the top of the stairs.   
“She’s coming,” Lisa said.   
“What does it do with you?” Dean asked.   
“Just brings me food. She talked to me a couple times, but mostly she just drops the food in here and goes back up.”  
Dean could see Not Lisa descending the stairs.   
He and real Lisa got quiet, waiting, as the monster came down. Dean took another glance around the cage, looking for a weapon. There wasn’t one. It occurred to him that he should’ve asked Lisa what she had, since it seemed like the monster was being more lenient with her. She wasn’t chained to the ground like he was. But now it was too late.   
Not Lisa came to stand in front of his cage. “I see you two have been reacquainted. Dean, did you tell Lisa all the fun we’ve had while she’s been gone?”   
Dean glared at her (it?), silent.   
“Now I’m hungry,” it said.   
“Well, you’re gonna have to go find a Burger King, because I’m not cooking for you anymore,” Dean said defiantly.   
“Oh, sweet innocent Dean. I didn’t mean that kind of hungry.” Dean’s blood ran cold when he realized what it meant. He had been feeding that thing with sex? He felt dirty, violated.  
“Well, here’s a tip for you if you’re gonna pretend to be human: if you don’t get a call back after, take the hint,” he said. Dean heard Lisa making a choking sound. She must not have known how this thing was feeding on him either. Poor Lisa.   
The monster took on a mock-pathetic voice. “‘Please Lisa, please just tell me what’s wrong. I’ll do anything! Please Lis! Just talk to me! I miss you so much!’ And I’m the clingy one night stand? Give me a break.” The monster laughed.   
Dean’s face burned with shame. Ignoring the monster, he turned to his wife. He wished he could see her face. “Lis, I’m so so sorry. I didn’t know. I never would’ve done it if I knew it wasn’t you. And I hated it.”  
“Oh, Dean. I don’t know if I would say that. You seemed pretty enthusiastic about it some of the time, wouldn’t you say? You sure got into it, from my point of view anyway,” Not Lisa said.  
“Shut up, bitch. I’m talking to my wife.”   
“Oh, I like this new Dean. So tough. Really different from the little crybaby I’ve been feeding off of for two weeks.” Dean tried his best to ignore it, but it wasn’t easy. Since when did this bitch talk, anyway? It had hardly talked to him for two weeks and now it sure had a lot to say.   
Lisa coughed. She was gonna say something. He turned back to look at her. “Oh baby. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s not your fault. I’m so sorry this happened to you,” she said.  
“Happened to me? Lis, you’re in a cage!”  
“And you were living with a monster! It’s not a competition, but if it was, I wouldn’t win so easily.” She laughed weakly. Wow, she was so strong. He didn’t know how she had gotten through this, thinking he might be dead, never knowing how long she’d be allowed to live, all alone here in the dark. His poor Lisa. His heart ached.  
“Well, that was sweet. Back to business. Dean?” the monster looked at him expectantly, like it really thought he was gonna just lie on the ground and let it fuck him in front of his wife.   
“Yeah, okay. Why don’t you just come over here and unchain me and then we’ll have some fun?”  
It scoffed. “This was so much easier when we were married.” It laughed at its joke, turning to leave the room. Then it stopped. “Oh, I just had an idea! How about your wife doesn’t eat until I do?”   
The monster seemed to revel in the stunned silence in the room, then walked back up the stairs.  
Lisa and Dean both waited until the door was closed to move. He felt horrible, disgusting. This was all his fault.   
Dean sat on the floor. For a moment, neither of them spoke. He supposed Lisa was trying to decide how long she could wait to eat. But Dean wasn’t going to let that happen to her. “Lis, do you have anything in there? Something I can use to try to get these chains off or gank this thing?”   
Dean waited while Lisa looked around. “I have a plate. I could break it?”  
“Yeah, do that. What else?” He wasn’t sure how to even kill it, but he had to do something, and he wasn’t about to fuck a monster in front of Lisa. “Any bobby pins?”  
“No, she took them,” Lisa said sadly. “The plate is all I have in here.” Dean heard a loud crash. “I’ll slide the pieces through.”   
Soon, Dean saw pieces of white ceramic slide under the bars. He strained against the chains as hard as he could, but he couldn’t reach them. “Can you get them any farther?”  
Lisa pushed her hand through the bottom of the bars, as far as she could. Dean stretched his leg out, and just barely managed to reach the pieces. He slid them with his foot until they were within his reach. Then he hid them behind his back where Not Lisa wouldn’t see them when she came in, and he held a big, sharp piece in his hand. Now all they had to do was wait.


	6. Stop

Chapter Six  
…..  
One second Dean had been talking to Sam on the phone, and the next he wasn’t responding, but hadn’t hung up. Sam thought he heard sounds of a struggle, then nothing. The monster had probably heard Dean on the phone, and wasn’t happy about it.   
Sam called Bobby immediately, and they agreed to meet at Dean’s. If Dean was there, then they’d be able to verify that he was okay. If he wasn’t there, then his house would be the best place to look for clues of where the monster had taken him.   
Sam got there first. He got out of his car and saw the Impala sitting in the driveway. So Dean hadn’t gone anywhere, at least not by choice. Sam walked up the driveway and tried the front door. It wasn’t locked. He almost called for Dean, but thought better of it. The thing might be there.   
Bobby arrived a few minutes later, followed by a Great Dane he borrowed from a friend. By then, Sam was sure that Dean was gone and so was the monster. They sat on Dean’s couch to talk strategy.   
The monster was called a kitsune. It was a Japanese fox spirit. The lore was widely varied, but they had found some stories that matched Dean’s situation. They paid special attention to the lore about kitsune that take on the appearance of specific people, like this one had done with Lisa. After Sam started looking into it, a lot of the stuff Dean had said started making sense. Kitsune ate a lot of food, and some of the lore said they also fed by having sex with humans. That would explain the sex five times a day that Dean had told him about.   
Sam scrolled through another article about kitsune. “How are we supposed to find this thing? I haven’t found anything about where they live.”  
Bobby tapped on one of the books sitting on the table. “This one says they like to keep their prey underground whenever they can.”   
Good. That was a start. “Okay, underground.”   
Sam and Bobby looked at each other with apprehension. “In Kansas? Try every building in the state.” Sam groaned. They couldn’t go check every building with a basement or a tornado shelter. They needed more to work with.   
“Okay, let’s think about this,” Bobby sighed. “We know this thing has to be close by right? They don’t stray far from their dens if they don’t have to. In the suburbs, they probably don’t have to go far for a human to feed on. Let’s check near the house and work our way out. Places nobody lives.” Sam started searching.   
….

The monster didn’t come back for the rest of the day. That night, Lisa was really starting to feel hungry. The monster usually came some time a couple hours after sundown, and it was July, so probably ten or eleven o’clock. Lisa didn’t have a clock to find out the time for sure. All she had was a tiny window in the upper right corner of the room, and some sense of how long a couple hours was. When the monster normally came to feed her, it brought her a lot of food and water at once, and didn’t come back until the next day.   
Now, Lisa started to think it might not come at all. At least not until morning. The sooner it came, the sooner Dean could try to kill it. And then they could finally go home, and she could sleep in her own bed with her love and they’d get past all this.   
Lisa knew she’d have to take special care of Dean for a while. For the last two weeks, he had apparently been willing to put up with terrible things to keep her happy. It wasn’t her, of course, but he had thought it was. It broke her heart to think of her baby feeling rejected and unloved, trying to earn her love back.  
The monster’s mocking impression of Dean haunted her. “‘Please Lisa, please just tell me what’s wrong. I’ll do anything! Please Lis! Just talk to me! I miss you so much!’” Her poor baby. He must have felt so hurt and confused, unable to understand the change that had happened in their marriage.   
“Baby?”   
“Yeah?” Dean sounded so sad.   
“I love you. It’s gonna be okay.”   
Dean didn’t answer for a minute. “Well, we’re gonna kill this thing and then we’ll get out of here. But I don’t know about okay. I caused this to happen to you. This is my fault. I’m so sorry Lis.”   
“It’s not your fault baby. It’s just a bad situation, and we’ll get through it.”  
“No, it isn’t just a bad situation. I should have known it wasn’t you, I should’ve done more to find out, and it’s my fault you’ve been stuck here alone for two weeks!”  
“Dean. Stop it now. This is not your fault.” She even surprised herself with the quick switch in her tone.   
Dean made the cutest little gasp of surprise. “Yes Ma’am.” After a minute, he said “I missed you.”   
“I missed you too. So much.” 

The door at the top of the stairs didn’t open until around noon the next day. The monster came down, carrying a tray of food. There were burgers, mozzarella sticks, Pop tarts, fruit cups, cookies, granola bars, apples and water. Lisa’s stomach growled. She hoped Dean didn’t hear it. She hoped Dean would be able to kill this thing and they could get out of here, but he was chained up and all he had were some fragments of a broken plate. That wasn’t much.   
It didn’t matter anyway. “Hi Dean. I hope I’ve given you enough time to get ready for me.” The monster smiled suggestively. She set the tray down on a table and walked to Dean’s cage. “Now just slide those pieces of plate over here and nobody has to get hurt.”   
What? How did she know? Dammit, it hadn’t even occurred to Lisa that the thing would be watching them.   
“I know you didn’t mean to upset me, Dean, so I’m going to give you another chance. But just this once. One more trick and I kill your wife.” Lisa’s blood ran cold. There was no way Dean would try anything now, not when her life was at stake.   
Lisa heard a scraping sound as Dean slid the pieces across the floor. He didn’t say anything. Lisa knew he was thinking about what this meant, what he’d have to do.   
“See? I knew you were a good boy. You just needed me to remove the temptation. Now. Your place or mine?” She laughed.   
….  
Dean felt sick, nauseous from revulsion and shame and hunger. He didn’t have any other plans. He couldn’t even try to fight the thing, because if he did, it would kill Lisa. He couldn’t take that chance.   
“Fine.” Dean said, resigned. He didn’t look at Lisa’s cage. He’d just have to try to pretend she wasn’t here.   
The monster smiled, pleased with itself. It unlocked his cage and stepped inside. Dean didn’t even look at it, just laid on his back and stared at the gray cement ceiling. All he had to do was get through this and Lisa could eat all that food. He knew she was hungry because he was really hungry too. He could do this for her.   
“Dean…” Lisa whispered. He could hear the heartbreak in her voice. She sounded like she was gonna cry. He wished he could cover his ears. If he was gonna do this, he didn’t want to hear her cry. He wasn’t sure he’d even be able to get it up as it was.   
Not Lisa straddled his hips and unbuttoned his pants. This was really happening to him, huh?   
Suddenly, the sound of a barking dog distracted the monster. With a cry of what sounded like fear, Not Lisa fell off of him onto the floor and started to shrink. What the hell? In place of the monster stood a small fox. The only difference between this and the fox he had seen outside his house two weeks ago was a glowing white ball the size of a golf ball that floated above the thing’s tail.   
Dean sat up and saw a Great Dane coming toward his cage, followed by Sam holding a leash. Bobby came up behind Sam, trying to figure out how to unlock Lisa’s cage. Damn was Dean glad to see them.   
“We need to get that white orb and crush it,” Sam said.   
“Awesome. Gonna need some help out of these first though.” Dean shook the chains.   
Sam waited with the dog, who had cornered the fox in the back of Dean’s cage. Bobby looked around the room for keys, and finally found them in the lock of the cage. He unlocked Lisa, who rushed to Dean’s side. She hugged him tight and kissed his forehead and watched as Bobby unlocked the shackles on his wrists. It felt so good to have her back, to know it was really her, to know that she really loved him.   
“Good to see you, son. We’ve been worried.”   
“Thanks Bobby. So was I.” Dean and Lisa stood up, turning their attention to the fox in the corner. This was the monster? A fox?   
“So what do we do, just shoot it?” Dean asked. They all stood for a minute, watching the fox cower in the corner while the dog barked at it. Sam handed Bobby the leash, and approached the fox. The fox launched at Sam, ready to take a chunk out of his hand. He backed off, then started to approach it again. Dean felt Lisa push him gently but quickly out of the way, then she moved Sam in the same impatient way. She put her boot on the fox’s back, forcing it to the ground. She grabbed the orb and slammed it onto the ground, crushing it under her foot. With a pitiful almost human shriek, the fox burst into a cloud of smoke and disappeared.   
They all stared at Lisa. Damn, she was hot when she took charge. “Hey, you killed your first monster.” It wasn’t an accomplishment he wanted her to have, but after what she’d been through, she deserved to be the one to ice the thing. He was proud of her.


	7. Aftermath

Chapter Seven   
….. 

Lisa stayed close to Dean as much as she could in the following days. She didn’t even know if she was doing it to support him after the difficult experience he had or because she was scared herself, but he must’ve been having similar feelings, because she noticed he was always right there with her too.   
It was weird the way he acted though. He was always in the same room with her, but he wasn’t very affectionate. He accepted the affection she gave him, but he seemed uncomfortable with it. She knew it must have something to do with the way the monster had treated him, but she didn’t know what response from her would help him to get past it. She offered affection but didn’t force it.   
After a day or so of allowing Dean his distance, Lisa sat him down in their bedroom to talk about it. She needed to know how to help him. “Baby, what can I do to help you through this?”   
“Me? Lis, I’m fine.”   
Well, that was a lie. “Come on Dean. You haven’t been affectionate, and that makes sense to me after what you’ve endured. I just want to make sure I’m not responding in a way that’s causing you more pain. I want to be here for you in a way that will help, not make things worse.”   
Dean looked at her with a stricken expression. “What I’ve endured? What about what you endured, Lisa? I’m a hunter. I’m supposed to kill these things. It’s my job to take care of you, and I failed. I wasn’t there for you. I was over here feeding and fucking some monster while you were alone and scared and waiting for me to come save you. And I didn’t. I don’t deserve your affection, Lisa, or your love. You don’t need to help me through this.” He looked down at the bed, tears in his eyes.   
“Dean. You did nothing wrong! You were a victim as much as I was. Look at me Dean.” He didn’t. Her heart ached for him. How could he carry so much guilt for something that wasn’t his fault? She pulled him into her chest and hugged him. He stiffened, but she kept holding him until he relaxed and rested his head on her shoulder. They were gonna get through this. She would just have to find a way through this wall of guilt he was putting up. She could do that. 

….   
For the next two days, Dean wasn’t acting like himself. He had a really short fuse, and seemed to be getting annoyed over everything. He wasn’t just annoyed either. He was downright disrespectful. He rolled his eyes and sighed at her a lot over the smallest things, and he ignored her when she asked him to do things. Even before they had started DD, he hadn’t acted like this. He could get an attitude from time to time, but this was more than a bad mood.   
Lisa didn’t know how to handle it. She didn’t want to punish him because of what he had been through. She didn’t want to make him feel unloved. But nothing she did, none of the affection she tried to give, or the talks she tried to initiate, seemed to work. She tried to bring up that he had been acting rudely, but he just said “yeah okay” and didn’t say anything else.   
When Lisa came home from the store on the third day, she found Dean drinking whiskey at the kitchen table. What was he doing? He knew how she felt about drinking as a coping mechanism. It was behavior that led to alcoholism, and it was not allowed in their house. He knew she’d be coming right back, what was he thinking?   
Then she realized the mistake she’d been making. She’d been trying to talk to him, to show him affection, but she wasn’t listening to what he really needed. Dean was in a rut over guilt. It was driving him crazy. And he had been telling her with his behavior for three days how she could help, and she had missed it, trying to solve it the way that would’ve helped her.   
Lisa walked to the table with authority. “What do you think you’re doing, Dean?”  
He looked a bit apprehensive about her tone, but she’d been so lenient with him lately, he apparently decided it was nothing. He smiled humorlessly. “Drinking.”   
“Not anymore you’re not. Pour it out and go wait for me in the bedroom.” Dean’s eyes widened, but he didn’t move. “Now.”   
That got his attention. He poured the whiskey in the sink and put the glass in the dishwasher, then walked directly to the stairs. Lisa waited five minutes for him to get settled and prepare himself for this, then she followed.   
Lisa smiled at her husband standing obediently in the corner. She couldn’t believe it had taken her this long to hear him asking for this. It had just felt cruel to punish him when she knew he was having a hard time coping with something that wasn’t his fault. But this was Dean. It didn’t need to be his fault for that guilt to kick in. And now he really did have fault to account for, not for missing the monster, but for letting his guilt consume him like this. This was how he would atone, and how she would show him he was loved. She wished she had thought of it earlier.   
Lisa didn’t address Dean right away. She walked into the bathroom and retrieved her hairbrush, the one with the thick wooden back. She set it on her arm chair and sat down.   
“Come here, Dean.” He turned around slowly, dread and fear on his face. He crossed the room, stood in front of her and looked her in the eye. Damn, he looked scared and sad and tired. Her poor baby.   
“Do you know why you’re getting a spanking?”  
“‘Cause I was drinking?”   
“Partly. But I think you can do better than that.”   
He looked away, ashamed. It didn't take long for him to come up with a better answer. “I was a dick to you, I didn’t do the things you asked me to do, and I was drinking to feel better even though I know I’m not allowed to.”   
“That’s right. And there’s another reason.”  
Dean looked back at Lisa, confused. “I - I don’t know what it is Ma’am. I’m sorry.”   
“You’re beating yourself up over guilt when you’re not at fault. You’ve been rejecting my love and affection not because you don’t want it, but because you’ve determined you don’t deserve it. But it’s not up to you if you deserve my love and affection. It’s up to me. And I’ve determined that you always deserve my love and affection, no matter what. If I think you deserve to be punished, then I will punish you. I forbid you to punish yourself. Do you understand?”   
“Yes Ma’am.” He didn’t look entirely convinced, but at least he was thinking about it.   
“Come lie over my lap, Dean.” He obeyed, most of his weight resting on her thighs, his hands and feet on the floor. She slid his sweat pants and boxers down to his knees and grabbed the hairbrush. “During this spanking, I want you to think about the fact that I’m doing this because I love you. I want you to love you, and I want you to forgive yourself too. This is the last time I want to hear or see any guilt from you about this, so get it all out now.”   
Smack! Lisa started a bit slower than normal. She wanted it to hurt, and it would, but she didn’t want him to be overwhelmed right away either. It was important that he really think about what she said. Smack! Smack! Despite the slow start, she still hit hard. He needed it. Smack! Smack! Lisa started to pick up the pace a bit. Besides a bit of involuntary squirming, Dean was being very stoic. She kept spanking him hard, turning his ass pink, then red. Smack! Smack! Smack!   
Lisa heard the first soft whimpering that told her it was really starting to affect him. Smack! Smack! She turned her attention to the soft spot right under his ass, the part she knew hurt the worst. She hit that spot hard on both sides, repeatedly. Dean gasped in pain and whimpered again. Smack! Smack! She spanked the back of his upper thighs til they were as red as his ass, then moved back up.   
Smack! Smack! Dean sniffled, and Lisa thought he might be crying. He had definitely started tearing up by now at least. She spanked harder now. Smack! Smack! Smack! She wanted him to cry for real. He needed the catharsis, and he needed to really feel punished so he could believe that he was forgiven. Lisa moved back down to his upper thighs, spanking him hard over and over again in quick succession. She didn’t give him any time between blows to process them or adjust or get ready for the next one. Dean squirmed a lot, trying to get away from the relentless hairbrush. Lisa knew his thighs must really be burning now. Smack! Smack! Smack! Smack! Smack! Smack! Smack! She moved back up to his ass and started again, just as fast. Smack! Smack! Smack! Smack! Smack! The speed of the blows didn’t take away from their force in the least. She spanked him hard, over and over again. Then she started to focus on one spot at a time, hitting that spot over and over again. Smack! Smack! Smack!   
That did it. Dean started sobbing. Smack! Smack! For a moment, Lisa was surprised by how much her husband was crying. This was by no means a maintenance spanking, but it wasn’t the worst he’d ever gotten. But she quickly remembered the point of this spanking. Dean had a lot to come to terms with, and this was his way of doing that. He had a lot of hurt and shame to work through, and now he was finally working through it.   
Smack! Smack! Smack! In support of that goal, Lisa continued to spank him hard. She noticed that he didn’t beg her to stop like he normally did when it hurt him this much. He was too emotional today. Smack! Smack!   
Lisa decided that Dean had had enough. She stopped spanking him, and started rubbing his back soothingly. “Shhhh, shhhh. It’s okay baby. You did good, baby. You’re done.” She rubbed her hand in gentle circles on his back and cooed affirmations at him. He kept crying over her lap, and hiccuping. Soon, he was starting to calm down a bit, getting his tears and hiccuping under control. Lisa was overcome with love for this man, even more than normal. He was so brave and strong and cute. 

….  
“Come with me to bed, baby.” Lisa helped Dean up and he pulled up his boxers. His ass was already on fire, and the boxers touching his ass definitely didn’t help. He kicked the sweatpants all the way off. It wasn’t worth trying to put those on too.   
Lisa guided him by the hand to the bed. She sat up with her back against the headboard, and Dean curled up with his head in her lap. Lisa wiped the tears off his face and pet his hair. He was in pain, for sure. But he felt so loved. He knew that she really cared about him, even though he failed her, and she loved him enough to punish him for misbehaving. He thought about how he felt when he thought the monster was Lisa, when he could do anything and she didn’t care enough to correct him, as long as she got what she wanted. He was overwhelmed with relief to have his real Lisa back.   
“I love you so much Dean. You did such a good job. Did you learn your lesson, baby?”   
Dean nodded. “Yes Ma’am. I shouldn’t punish myself, I should accept your love.” He didn’t understand why she wasn’t mad at him, why she didn’t blame him, but she didn’t. So he was just gonna have to accept that.   
“Good boy. All is forgiven.”   
“All is forgiven.”


End file.
